The Future Of Television

What isWipe Out? That's a good question. Nay, that's a wonderful question. Wipeout is the future of television when it come's to reality TV. It's got everything a dumb, uneducated, and easily entertained yokel could ever ask for. And to be fair to the creatorsof Wipeout, I did try watching some of it. Was I impressed is the real question?

No. I was not impressed with Wipeout, in fact I felt a little dumber after watching five minutes of it. The show's concept, or lack there of, is just going through some ball-busting obsticle courses. The courses consist of jumping from one giant red ball to the next, climbing a wall that has punching bags ready to hit you at any given moment, etc (what would etcetera even mean for a show like this?)

Seeing as how I didn't watch the show in its entirety, I cannot tell you what the winner (if there really is such a thing on the show) won, probably a grand winning of 50 G. However I do know this, everyone loses on the show, even the viewer.

One of the apparent advantages to watching the show, as to competing on it, is getting to hear the very "humorous" commentators by the name's of John Anderson, and Joh Henson. The pairing up of two guys who share the name John was the best decision on ABC's part, I mean lets face it, who would listen to the voice's of John and someone else not named John? The chemistry between John and John is what you'd think, they bicker about some things, but in the end they give us, the viewer, a quick laugh. And really that's what Wipeout really is all about?

Although the show seems like it would kill in the ratings, it does just as good as any other reality show on basic cable that's been running for three seasons about people getting hit, or bouncing off of things on ABC. The demographic is bigger than you think.

Oh yeah, there's also this chick who will do a brief interview with

each contestant before they sacrifice what little dignity they have. Her acting credit's include Punk'd and Blade: The Series, which says that she's got a lot going for her. She also has no other part in Wipeout, which is a real shame.

So thanks ABC, its good to know that Boy Meets World has been replaced. Well. Done.

Shall We Begin

Lets start out with the first picture on the backdrop* which is the highly fattening Kentucky Fried Chicken Double Down sandwich. Two highly fattening pieces of fried chicken have cut out the middle man (bread), and have made a quote-unquote real sandwich.

What's a Double Down? In a deeper sense, a Double Down is what make's an angel cry. These aren't happy tears either, so expect no happy tissues, only expect sad tissues. In a very literal sense the Double Down is (as I said above) two piece's of deep-fired chicken as buns.In between the replacement buns is two strips of bacon; sweet, succulent, fried, fat drenched bacon. What else could make this meal better? I'll tell you, it's two slice's of Monterey Jack cheese. Then for an extra kick of angel tear you get some Colon's special sauce. What's in the sauce? Fat, salt, and sadness.

KFC out did themselves with this particular "sandwich", because before this, I felt like a pig eating out of that bowl thing*. I mean using a fork to get my chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and gravy

was insanity; honest to God I felt like I was being smothered by KFC. Now I can use my hands, and not feel like KFC is controlling my manners. Freedom, that's what the Double Down mostly smells like. Though the down side is, now I don't have mashed potatoes with my chicken. I guess I'll just have to side order that.

One of the best parts about the Double Down was that it was in high anticipation for it before it came out. KFC even put a countdown on there website for the Double Down. It was like the food version of a Harry Potter book; people waited outside of KFC's the Sunday it was released. For food rations while waiting in line, one can only imagine how many Slim-Jim wrappers, and cheap used up Zippo lighters there were left behind.

Have I tried the Double Down? No, and I never plan on it, and if I were you I'd advise you not too either. Though protests like this are pointless, because the damn thing was given a longer running time at KFC, because it sold so good. Next thing you know, we'll be run by KFC... Or Carl's Jr.

*For future reference: the backdrop in this blog will not be changing anytime soon

**If in fact I had ever gotten a bowl, I probably would have felt like a pig, I'm just assuming I'd feel like a pig

Concerned?

Hello there. You're probably asking "Sam, why would you create another blog? This is just another bookmark to add! But because it's you I'm not angry, just a little confused. What's that title say? What's with this blog? Are you quitting the very popular, and very successful 'Rage Against The Jachine'?"

Fear not devoted reader, my days at RATJ are far from over, this is just another place to entertain you. That answers questions three and four, but you're probably wondering if I'll ever answer question one and two for that matter?

Merica. it's just one letter away from "America", and if you really love America so much, you'll probably be saying Merica (Pronunciation: Mare_ick_uhh) as the title reads. So what does it all mean you might be asking? Its simple; this is the blog where I will bring up why other countries look down on us. Sometime's I'll write like an over-the-top-conservative-who-will-never-forget-what-freedom-is! That my dear Watson is called irony. Other time's I will be writing like my usual self, very similar, in fact identical to my writings on "Rage Against The Jachine".

Sounds like a plan doesn't it! Now I might be criticized and be thought to hate America*, or that I'm too hard on the 'ol US of A. Four words: Freedom of speech dawg. That's in the bill of rights; if I did hate America (which I don't) then I wouldn't know that.

So from here on out you can expect to find some wonderful commentaries about Mareica. Thank you.

*or Merica